A tale of two criminals: For some, prison offers little enticement
Few people are made for prison, of course. We can offer lists of people who can’t seem to stay out of prison. But what about those who belong in prison who can’t seem to stay inside? Looking at these two examples, is it reallly so cut and dry?
Laszlo Toth, the guitar-playing, hammer-wielding Hungarian-born geologist who dashed past guards at the Vatican on May 21, 1972 and smashed Michelangelo’s Pieta with the aforementioned hammer while screaming "I am Jesus Christ - risen from the dead." The blows broke off one of the Virgin Mary’s arms, took a chunk out of her nose and chipped an eyelid. The following year, a Rome court declared him socially dangerous person and confined him to a mental hospital. (Rumors continue to swirl that he not only spent too much time in the Australian outback before his arrival in Rome, but he also spoke with extra terrestrials.) Toth stayed two years in Rome. After being sent back to Australia, authorities let him live out his life in peace, which most people now believe he is doing.
Then there’s Ronald Arthur “Ronnie” Biggs, the infamous member of the Great Train Robbery of 1963, where he played a minor role as a gang stole £2.6 million from the Glasgow to London Mail Train. What made Biggs so endearing is he is living proof there are second, and third, acts in history. 
Shortly after beginning his 30-year prison term for his involvement in the crime, Biggs hatched an audacious escape plan – involving throwing rope ladders over the prison wall and climbing down onto a waiting van – and made his way to Belgium where he received passports, clothes and a painful facial reconstruction surgery. He ended up in Australia, where he stayed a short time with his wife and three sons.
As authorities closed in, the couple split up and after a few months, Biggs made his way to Rio de Janeiro. Financial pressures of being on the run got to Biggs, and when he heard about the death of his eldest son in a car accident, he decided to give himself up. But not before his live-in Brazilian girlfriend, Raimunda, informed him she was pregnant with his child. He hatched the plan to sell his story to the highest bidding newspaper. The Daily Express offered £35,000 for the pleasure, and while Biggs worked feverishly with a reporter, he was arrested by an old nemesis from Scotland Yard. It was then Biggs learned the paper was in on the sting, thus canceling their much-needed financial arrangement.
The good news was that no extradition agreement existed between the United Kingdom and Brazil, and Biggs learned from his fellow prisoners that his Brazilian child on-the-way may keep him out of a U.K. prison. It was true, but the plea-bargain arrangement he made with the Brazilian government forced him to accept a 10 pm curfew and sign a waiver claiming he would not work, further cramping his financial woes. Shortly after his son was born, Raimunda left for Europe to pursue a career in the theatre. Money came infrequently, and Biggs made ends meat selling interviews. He also infamously wrote a song with the Sex Pistols: No One is Innocent. One false interview got him kidnapped by former British soldiers who wanted to take him home and receive a reward. Luck intervened again, and Biggs was shortly back in Rio. His son’s band soon won a record contract, and Biggs was allowed by the Brazilian government to tour with them for awhile. It was another payday – while it lasted. When that money ran out – with the help of Bigg’s failed bar – he began selling tickets to his house so tourists could pay to have their picture taken with a living fugitive. He also began hawking t-shirts and coffee cups emblazoned with his face.
In 2001, after suffering his third stroke in two years, Biggs sent a letter to Scotland Yard, expressing a desire to turn himself in. All he desired, he said, was to be able to walk into an English pub to buy himself a bitter. He arrived from Brazil in a Lear Jet, paid for by the Sun newspaper, which bought rights to the official story. Once he landed in Heathrow, Biggs was promptly arrested. He remains in a prison hospital today. After suffering a fourth stroke he lost the ability to feed himself.
Photo of Night Plane by Photo Monkey